Insanity Ensues

What some one in china is reading our blog?? Well thats very suprising..im so happy for them and i wish them the best..i hope that we dont offend..and i guess if we do..then your government will just have to ban us from chinees internet or somthing.. i dunnno.
Humm maby daniel what your saying could be a little to offensive..but im thinking..
The MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING.. No thats fine..i hear that at Church all the time.. the bishops and ministers..are just saing..FREAKING MOMMIE WEE WEE SUCKER.. i mean come on now..if a minister and a bishop are both saying Mother fucking cock sucker..than we must be able to say it..i mean how many religious people say Dang and SHoot and Freak..lets get reall people..COCK SUCKING IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.. and if you use a little sugar..sometimes.. it can taste a bit better.. i mean not that ive tried it or anything.. ive just heard about it.. ok ok so ive tryed it but only once and it was with a Catholic Priest he told me i was saved..
dont judge me.

there is someone in China that reads this thing.

or has read it.

or just glanced and moved on... who knows.

what does it all mean? and what can we say and not get sensored by the chinese government. like shit... maybe cock... maybe muther fuck cock sucker? these aren't words that I am likely to use on a regular basis but what if it comes up? like I am talking about Condi Rice or the big Bush? will they ban this website from their access to the web? huh... it's kindof exciting to think that I could have questionably material enough to be banned. What about you brandon? do you have questionable material?

well here is some questionable material.



just thought I would put that in there because who knows what people find questionable.

but here is what will get me censored. I didn't clear this with brandon so I hope that he doesn't get too mad at me for showing this on our brand new site like this...

but..

here goes nothing...



now if that isn't worth being boycotted or censored I don't know what is.

this image is thanks to a great blog called Fresh N' Tasty which I highly recomend you frequent. he does Mugshot mondays that aren't to be missed for their hilarity.

NE way...



dlb

nothing to be sorry about. you just played right into my self destructive paterns with creativity. and I find it hard to convey sarcasm online.

love ya and keep reading

dlb

badeee ba de'

sorry I just had the David Bowie/Queen song stuck in my head.

But the true reason that I am writing this is so that I get over my fear of it. I mean I feel so much presure to be funny on here. what if it's not funny? what if it sucks? what if somehow somewhere a duck is watching us? So I decided that I should just write in it. I mean it's not like everyone will hate me if I all the sudden stop being good at this. In fact there was no reason for anyone to believe that this would be good in the first place. It's really all the fault of the comment that said that we are really funny and that we should keep it up. So "ANGRY FIST SHAKEN IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION". But I can't blame it on that person. I mean I want to but it isn't fair. that person was just trying to be nice. This goes to the deeper root of my perfectionism. I can't even remember all of the journals that I have almost started and then chickened out because I couldn't bear to make the leap of faith of actually smudging the page with ink. I mean the book looked so perfect there without any mess and no marks in it. and so then I just had to write in it like this to get over that. and so I did a free form write like I am doing right now, which translates into I am not rereading anything that I write I am just trying to get it all Out on paper or the web and not edit. so if this is not that funny see above statement blaming the annonymous comment. have you ever done this type of thing? just write and don't stop or edit yourself and see what comes out? just keep writing as fast as you can spell and write it down or type in this case. And I am having a really hard time doing it because I hear Llewellyn Vaughn Lee speaking next to me. well he isn't next to me he is actually speaking from the computer next to me but it was the video that we shot in San Francisco last year. God bless america. and all that jazz.

Well now I have written in this and it is tainted with my flaws. hahahahaha....

lets see if people read it still.

Hey by the way...

What the hell is wronge with me?

I know that they say that eventually we turn into our parents, but what the fuck? I mean last night I went to bed at about 9:30 and then finally fell asleep by about 10pm. then woke up at about 3:30 am. What is that? I couldn't get back to sleep. It was impossible. I did my best. I tried everything like a movie, a TV show, masterbation, reading my crazy new vampire novel (oh yeah... this is my second vampire novel... how many can you read before you officially have to change your name to something silly like Rafe, or Spike, or Ghost, and start wearing trenchcoats? and do I get extra normal points if you know that they were gay vampire novels and I promptly wore a pastel blue shirt the next day?... I digress)

So I think that I am turning into my mother. she can go to bed at midnight and then wake up at three and work a 12 hour day. she is crazy. maybe I am getting crazier.

I mean I know that I am alittle crazy. I am at omega. I mean speaking of jobs, I live at my job where it is comonly believed that everyone who lives there or comes to Omega is a high functioning Retard or Lunatic. You tell me...

Are the voices in my head bothering you?

Well so there you go. I finally wrote in this. so now it's your turn to comment and Brandons to write.
dlb

So for one's life to keep going some times one must take on phyisical activitys called jobs.. some prefer to sit at desks and wear suits and ties whial others prefere to work for places and people who are under MASS AMOUNTS OF STRESS because CORPERAT America is all about the monney..thats what they want they want YOUR MONNEY..

Well it just so happens that i was talking to a friend..and she had said something extremly FUNNY right as i took a drink of some soda..and i SPIT it out ALL up and down the floor.. and kinda on the side of her..(it was kinda funny at the time..and then she kicked me..)SO we started to clean up the mess..and after that i was boxing up the rest of the donnuts and i couldnt figure out what to do with the donut holes..so i stuck them in a box with about 5 other donuts..and i said .. MOMMY MOMMY LOOK THE DONUTS MAID BABBIES in a rather High pitched tone...which was also pretty darn funny at the time..untill i turned around and saw..a WHITE HAIR'd OLD WOMAN just a tinny little thing..her eyes as wide as GRAPFRUITS oh it was even more funny when i saw her because of her mortification..then i realized she was gonna buy some donnuts untill she found out they were reproducing..
she might have thought she had to hurry and eat them befor they maid more..cuz she couldnt eat all of them..especially if they maid..more..
So to make a long storie loonger...she walked away..the co-workers of mine that sometimes..claim me as one of the stafff...laughed with me..and at me..and life gose on..
thanks and have a great day...

ps, Remember to smile because some one is allways gonna wonder what your up to..even if they dont know you.. :)

1. Have you ever streaked? if so please exsplain what on earth you were thinking by showing the public what ever it is you had on under your clothing.

yes of course I have streaked. everyone wants my body so I am just giving the crowd what they want.

2. what would you do for a dollar?

What wouldn't I do for a dollar?

3. when's the last time you wet the bed and blamed it on the dog :( <-- (angry face)?

I still maintain that the bed wet itself, and then blamed it on the dog, and once again I remain blameless.

4. whats your favorite movie?

I don't know how to answer that. There are too many to think of and not enough space to write them. But I think maybe Billy Elliot right now and tomorrow who knows?

5. whats your favorite quote?

Be the cange you want to see in the world. -Gandhi

6.have you ever publicly exsposed your friends nipples?

Nope... but I am a Ta Ta Toucher so watch out.

7. Do you honestly think you are gonna finish all these questions in the amount of time your hoping to? If yes i guess we willl have to make them longer if no we will still have to make them longer

You smell kindof like a republican.

8. whats Disniey Character do you most relate to? why?

Well I am not quite sure what a Disniey character is, but Disney Character I would relate to Alice in Wonderland alot. Why? Because if one drinks much from a bottle marked poison it is almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

9. what about now?

Tarzan, because he is hot like me.

10. have you ever thought about how your decision now..affects the children?

For the love of God... would someone please think of the children.

11. do you like beans? would you eat beans and then fart in a can and smell it?

I confess, I confess, I didn't do it, and if I had it over again I still wouldn't do it.

12. Are you telling the full truth and the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help your mom?

That all depends on the nature of truth and how many Hippies are around to hear it.

13. what do you think about my older brothers purple lace bra?

It makes me giggle like a little girl, then squeal a little, then throw up a little in my mouth. and sometimes on good days when the sun is out and it's raining it makes me feel like baking a cake.

14. Have you ever tried to seduce a teacher so you would or could make a better grade and graduate?

How do you think I graduated? And now I need to get back into college so I am looking for the right candidate for the screwing position to make sure I get in.

15. how do you feel about the phrase " your mom" especially when being directed at your mother..talking about her mothers mother..who died and left your brother with the creepy purple bra in charge?

it tickles my fancy bone.

16. if you had one thing right now to give you the ultimate pleasure what would it be.. you define (ultimate pleasure)

A vibrator, no wait, 1 million dollars, wait... no a vibrator.

17. Have you ever fantasised about marrying Daria off the cartoon Daria?

Hell no. I love her and all but I would probably thumb wrestle her to the death (thanks Jules), because she would annoy me so badly.

18. Who's your super hero?

I have a super hero? I hope he is cute, tall, Dark , and handsome and well hung. and hopefully he wears clothing to accentuate on the package size and curving musculature of his fully formed pectoral muscles and bubble butt... (drool...)

19. what was the last movie you saw in the theaters?

Thank you for Smoking

20. can you think of a question that can go hear? if so you may post it and hope that out of the millions of other applicants we might find your question and we might consider to post it..but if not...take it personal VERY PERSONAL!!

I try to think as little as possible.

1. Have you ever streaked? if so please exsplain what on earth you were thinking by showing the public what ever it is you had on under your clothing.

2. what would you do for a dollar?

3. when's the last time you wet the bed and blamed it on the dog :( <-- (angry face)?

4. whats your favorite movie?

5. whats your favorite quote?

6.have you ever publicly exsposed your friends nipples?

7. Do you honestly think you are gonna finish all these questions in the amount of time your hoping to? If yes i guess we willl have to make them longer if no we will still have to make them longer

8. whats Disniey Character do you most relate to? why?

9. what about now?

10. have you ever thought about how your decision now..affects the children?

11. do you like beans? would you eat beans and then fart in a can and smell it?

12. Are you telling the full truth and the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help your mom?

13. what do you think about my older brothers purple lace bra?

14. Have you ever tried to seduce a teacher so you would or could make a better grade and graduate?

15. how do you feel about the phrase " your mom" especially when being directed at your mother..talking about her mothers mother..who died and left your brother with the creepy purple bra in charge?

16. if you had one thing right now to give you the ultimate pleasure what would it be.. you define (ultimate pleasure)

17. Have you ever fantasised about marrying Daria off the cartoon Daria?

18. Who's your super hero?

19. what was the last movie you saw in the theaters?

20. can you think of a question that can go hear? if so you may post it and hope that out of the millions of other applicants we might find your question and we might consider to post it..but if not...take it personal VERY PERSONAL!!

1. What is your name?
Blue
2. What is your favorite color?
Brandon Bunker ( wahoo i caught ya there didnt i ..wasnt exspecting me to put my name as my color and my color as my name..did ya did ya..its ok i know you didnt.. cuz im usually two steps behind ya but this time..im only a half a step to the side of ya!
3. Tell us about a scar that you have, how you got it, and what it means to you now?
I have scars?? what you knew and you didnt tell me and now you want me to tell you about things that i know absolutly nothing about.. ok so i did a report on talking on things you know absolutly nothing about..and it got me an A im not sure if thats because i was so correct on writing a paper you know nothing about ..or if the teacher was just stunned that i pulled off a paper that was about nothing. oh yeah back to the scar thing..i've got a couple..whats it to you?
4. If you were a tree, what would you be?
Weeping Willow, i think the one off pocahontis saw John smith naked..so i guess she's my new idol "blushing smile" --> :)
5. Do you believe in God?
Well duhh i own like 3 or 4 of her Cds I've come to the conclusion that God is Alanis Morriset and i have since helped 3 good friends of mine come to this same conclusion..( weather they believe me or not they atleast pretend when im around) So it all works out they believe i belive and its amazing! When you walk into wal-mart and you hear god singing .. all these people are privlaged to hear god sing..even if they are shopping at corperate america and the pinical of all that is EVIL but hey they have a cute smile face that knocks down prices and rolls them back..they even dress him up.. dose he have his own make up artist??
6. Do you believe in a Devil or Satan?
Well i do believe that Kristy Mcdonald comes pretty close.. dose pretty close count?
i mean i figure the way im going the devil or satan or both..better watch out..me and Goose are gonna take over hahah i mean forget that i said that.
7. Do you do Yoga?
No, but i should..maby if i turned my self into the human pretzel before the bullies at school did they would just walk past and laugh.. then i would know how to get out of it..and not get stuck or have some one help roll me into class so i wasnt late..
ok so that happend twice come on now..give me a break.
8. What is the Craziest thing (you define crazy) you have ever done?
Well if i have to define crazy i dunno..there are a millinon and probly 5 things that i have done that are just that crazy..like when me and a co-worker stacked a whole bunch of school garbage cans to make a pyramid and i climbed up the very un- stable tower to put the last piece on.. it fell ovcourse and it hurt like your mother.. but its ok..she good now..and so am i..
or i could tell you about the time i gave my friend a blow job on my parents bed..but i wont..Maby we should put a rating on the matterial we put in here??
9. What is the silliest thing you have ever said?
The first thing that comes to mind..is when i was a young boy i farted and i looked at daniel and said " I farted for you" Between the look of disgust and the slow smerk starting to appear on his face i knew that would stick for a while.
10. Do you smell bad right now?
Maby, Nothing, Shut uuup.
11. How about now?
"Dont worrie about it"
12. If there were no other people on the planet, and no sheep, whom would you want with you?
well thats not fair... there are so many..
HA i got it..i want a Hermaphrodite with a million different personalitys and i will just give the personality's of the people i would wanna be with to my Hermie and when i want something from a certain some one i will tell my hermi and they will provid.. YES I FINALLY GET ALL THE CLEBS I WANT...haah Take that internet Porn sites i dont need you any more..me and my hermie will live for ever!!! :p
13. Do you make your bed everyday?
nope i dont think i've maid my bed since i was... Well i dont recall ever making my bed
14. Do you have a nervous habit and what is it if you do?
well i guess umm when i get really nervous or excited i start to make really creepy or strang noises.. (whats even worse is people have caught me making them..and the look on there faces are pricless..) i mean i turn and look around wondering who was doing that..just like them.
15. Do you like how I asked two questions in that last question and counted it as one?
Umm let me think about that one..ill get back to you.
16. What is your favorite article of clothing?
i think my older brother's bra i dunno something about purple lace really gets to me :)
17. Do you have any German in you? Do you want some?
At this current moment..i dont well im not sure..let me cheek..
Nope nothing clogging any holes that im aware of.. would i like some..humm depends..is he cute and how big?? ;)
18. What is the best thing you have ever done on a trip? (not a drug trip... well better yet ... you decide)
well when i take my first drug trip..or If i take my first drug trip..well dose non illegal drugs count as having a drug tirp? ive done some pretty crazy things..when i was on pain pills .. i maid up my own world and planet i was the ruler and the broom was my cepter..when my mom tried to get it from me..i would demand it back and point it at my older brother robert and order him to do things for me..i really thought i was ZOLTRON! haha
19. What color in the Crayola Crayon box are you?
Right now? like physically? probly Neon pink its realy hot in this room :) Just in general probly burgendy.. i have to wear it to work..its awful.
20. Do you use the internet at least everyday?
Yes who dosn't use the internet like every day. I don't know if i could survive with out cheeking my mail or getting on my space and winning the daily popularity contest.

Well this is it...

The first Post on this Blog.

This is Daniel and Brandon's atempt at Hilarity and the Blog hall of Fame. lets see what happens

Questions...

1. What is your name?

2. What is your favorite color?

3. Tell us about a scar that you have, how you got it, and what it means to you now?

4. If you were a tree, what would you be?

5. Do you believe in God?

6. Do you believe in a Devil or Satan?

7. Do you do Yoga?

8. What is the Craziest thing (you define crazy) you have ever done?

9. What is the silliest thing you have ever said?

10. Do you smell bad right now?

11. How about now?

12. If there were no other people on the planet, and no sheep, whom would you want with you?

13. Do you make your bed everyday?

14. Do you have a nervous habit and what is it if you do?

15. Do you like how I asked two questions in that last question and counted it as one?

16. What is your favorite article of clothing?

17. Do you have any German in you? Do you want some?

18. What is the best thing you have ever done on a trip? (not a drug trip... well better yet ... you decide)

19. What color in the Crayola Crayon box are you?

20. Do you use the internet at least everyday?


Well... the gauntlet has been dropped and now we will see what Insanity Ensues.
dlb